after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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