I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
pray to the hookup gods
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
