We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
