you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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