He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
