well you can't waste a boner
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
