Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
