I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize