Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
