If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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