dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize