My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
