Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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