I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
