Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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