This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
