marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
