I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize