is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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