You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize