We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize