Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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