I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
