thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
pray to the hookup gods
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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