girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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