i wish starbucks made bloody marys
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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