talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
