please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
