i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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