Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
