Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I didn't notice because vodka
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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