Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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