You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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