Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
