He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
