He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize