I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
