Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
