Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
