Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
