she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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