please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
