I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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