nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
no, he came in my armpit
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize