i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
