i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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