I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
