Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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