I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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