After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He called his prostate his "boner button".
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
