Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
