State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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