I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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