White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
