I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I wish i was in the wii world.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
