I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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