I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
