You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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