Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
