you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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