Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
