then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
