I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize