mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
