Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
